Limitless Hell

I woke up this morning to hear my parents yelling. I went back to sleep. It reminded me of how it all used to be. That used to be a common, lately it went away, but I fear my life will again be thrown into the turmoil of fights, and meaningless battles. I wish that I wasn't the mediator for the petty fights that ensue because something didn't go right. It never starts out as a petty fight, mind you. It is something cruel and heartless said, fought over, somewhat resolved, but from the tensions that are contained in the air, sparks are formed from little things. Petty fights are born from the aftermath of the burning fires that were ignited in the earlier hours. He didn't take out the trash, she said something about his shirt. Little fights that were spawned from the hell that was wrought from their indifference.

Today my dad made my sister cry. He proceeded to confront her in her wake of tears and demand her to tell the "full" story which only showed him as a more guilty contender in this twisted game of right and wrong that makes it's debut ever so often in our home.

I sink into a dark depression on weekends. Maybe it is the extended period I must inhabit the same space as these beings that created me or share some genetic similarities. Or perhaps it is the lonliness I create for myself in my bedroom. The quiet, the silence, it is freeing. Yet it surrounds me and suffocates my soul.

I should really start writing depressing poetry. I think I would be good. It would seem practically suicidal. hah

I want to swim today. I love swimming. The water surrounding me, and the movement within it, so loose and free.

Sectionals in 1 week and 1 day! yay! 100 fly, 50 free, 100 back. <3